Evil Squirels

Squirrels are evil.

I've thought this for a long time, in fact ever since I came to sacramento. It seems like there are more trees here for them build thier evil empire or something.

My first encounter with an evil squirrel was walking over my rent check to managers place. We have huge palm trees near there and as I was about to pass I heard this crazy "chitter-chitter-chitter". I turned to my left and about one foot away, directly eye level, was this huge squirrel he was barely smaller than my cat! Once I had my eye contact with the evil huge tree rat, it again said,"chitter-chitter-chitter-chitter", except this time it was louder nd even more menacing. It almost seemed like it did it on purpose, like it wanted to scare me. Of course jumped, and made some little girly noise.
I had never seen a squirrel that big before, so i asked my manager and she said, "Yeah, some of 'em get that big 'round here". My manager said they were harmless, and I began to rationalize that maybe it was just innocently on it's way down from the tree. Maybe it was just afraid I might bump into it. Maybe it wasn't really giving my the evil beady eye, but maybe it just had beady little eyes. Once I felt better i stopped chatting with my manager and turned to go back. By this time the sun was setting. As I neared the large palm again I began to feel uneasy, as if something or someone were watching me. I turned my gaze away from the sunset and towards the palm only to see the large evil squirrel starring directly at me from exactly where it was before. Keep in mind it had scurried it's way back up the tree while I was talking to my manager. Now it was back and I was about 5 feet away this time, and when it saw me looking at it, it again said, "chitter-chitter-chitter", almost like it was mocking me. It's eyes followed me the whole way as I passed the palm. I didn't look back to see if it had scurried back up the palm when I left, but I did hear the rustling of the palm leaves once I was out of sight.

Very, very, creepy squirrel.


There are some other evil squirrel related stories I will post at a later time. I did however find some rather hilarious sites dedicated to informing the world of the evil squirrels. And although I am certainly not crazy enough to carry a small squirrel sized gun in my purse, I still find the thought hilarious.

http://www.anti-squirrel.com/
http://www.scarysquirrel.org/page1.html

This guy even wrote a song about it that you can click and listen to. I have to admit it's a catchy tune.

http://www.writemeasong.com/squirrel.shtml

And for the even more twisted or just curious, check out some squirrel recipes.

http://www.scarysquirrel.org/recipes/

I think I should add, that this page I believe is just meant to be funny, but if you type in squirrel recipes, there are some real sites. Now thats just plain bazare to me but whatever, I suppose if people want to injest evil squirrel meat sure why not.

Also for fun, from the aol seach engine if you type evil squirrel or evil squirrels, there are a ton of blogs and sites dedicated to it. Even funnier the msn search brings up more wierd web sites with the same theme. I've also typed killer squirrel to find even more hilarity, but I wouldn't recommend typing in naked squirrel. No I haven't tried that, but thats just crazy and wierd. Hahaha but now you want to. Anyway kids have fun and stay out of trouble, until next time.
Crystle